A little window into the male brain during sex. As a man starts to recognize he is about to hit his peak and jettison his cum, we all have a quick question about what to do with it that runs through our minds. The question, of course, being: “Where do we go from here?”
After singing “Rock On” in our minds a few times to the tune from David Essex (note to self: hold the air guitar for later), we all recognize we better think quick and deliver our salty sticky chlorinated nut sauce to one of typically 4 or 5 lucky body parts.
Call me old-fashioned but I am partial to the regular old cream-pie. Second in line is the swallow (and if you get up and run to the sink for the super unattractive splat in my porcelain, it sends the message how “icky” I am, so just keep on going, all the way to the car keys, cupcake).
Then 3rd is the long-distance Olympic sport of Across the Face or Tits (AFT for short). I’m currently ranked 9th in the world in this medaled event, and although not currently the world champion, it’s still impressive nonetheless. Points for face or tits; points taken off for eye or floor.
Now, one caveat. If you shoot your load mid-anal, there are only one or two places to go for a non-sadist, non-asshole type of guy. Anal cream-pie or towel. If you go to the mouth here, you should be drawn and quartered. Nobody wants butt-dick. Nobody. No matter how many times you see Bonnie Rotten pretend it’s sexy. It’s not. Butt-dick is not being served in my house. No amount of Pornhub will change that.
So. Choices. Hurry up. Decide, Padre.
I recommend the old cream-pie of the vaginella flavor. Not much sexier than watching it fall from her onto the sheets that you were going to have to wash anyways if you fucked her right.
When you do, her puddles should be much bigger than yours.
P.S. Ladies…that part about singing “Rock On” in our heads to ourselves…Totally true.