Do you think ignoring your submissive (who you know needs interaction with you to keep from slipping in a sub drop mentality) is a good idea? My dom is doing this after I refused a punishment because I was under the influence and not in the right mind. I did break the rules by drinking, but he is now deciding to to ignore me for a week as a new "punishment". I can feel myself slipping into self loathing and I hate it, but he won't message me back. What should I do? (We are in a ldr)
Ignoring somebody is never an acceptable means of punishment. Ever. This is D/s 101 shit. Fuck, it’s relationship 101 shit.
I can somewhat empathize with the idea that somebody might need a day to collect their thoughts before they say anything irrational or something that they may regret (which they should communicate to you), but to not respond to you for a week because you drank is completely fucking stupid and mean.
Most importantly, it’s not like it’s going to do anything positive for your relationship.
Here you are, questioning whether or not if your Dom is using appropriate relationship techniques, and you’re finding out that he is acting like a fucking idiot. You won’t look at him the same after, at least not for a while.
Is that what he wanted? For his sub to see right through him? This is the equivalent to the silent treatment that people do and it never is a good idea to have non-communication.
Communication is probably the single most important component of any relationship but especially a D/s one.
He didn’t have to ever issue any punishment other than saying these simple words: “if you do this, I will be disappointed in you.” He could add “it will change the way I see how serious you take us.”
If that wouldn’t knock you on your ass, and I don’t know what would.
He may have been looking out for your best interest by not wanting you to drink. Maybe you act like an idiot when you drink. Maybe, you have a history of alcoholic dependencies and he was trying to keep you away from that. Maybe, you have health issues and drinking is bad for you. I don’t now. I’m not going to question whether or not him asking you to not drink is the right thing since I have no idea, but his approach to trying to get you to not do something and then punishing you by not talking to you is completely counter-effective, mean-spirited, and sheds light on his level of maturity and care for your emotional state.
In other words, your Dom is a dickhole.