Do you want that Alpha? The successful businessman who tells the rest of the world to fuck off and gets away with it all damn day because he walks the fucking walk? The passionate man who buckles your knees every time he kisses you? Who opens your door, pulls your hair, and makes all your friends wet their fucking panties in envy of you?
Who never, ever, ever leaves the house without telling you that you are beautiful and you know he means it. Who makes you fall out of bed at midnight laughing cause he just made some completely inappropriate joke in only that asshole-ish way he can do but you have come to love?
The man who works his fucking ass off and never complains then comes home and lets his little daughters call all the shots because those princesses need an example and who the hell doesn’t love princesses? Who never babysits, because you don’t “babysit” your own kids. Who genuinely loves to wrestle and pillow fight with the girls and their smiles light up his day?
Who runs the fucking meeting? Who gets promoted like most people get raises.
That guy? Him? The Passionate Man? The Sensitive Daddy? The Romantic Dominant?
Well, I have news for you there, cupcake. We don’t drop into your lap.
Good men at my age are taken and only freed when their women lose sight and we get sick of her shit.
The alpha version of the male is a rare breed. Most men are pussies who watch TV until the day end, never knowing their kids, never doing more than they have to. Those lazy fucks can eat a dick. The Alpha? The guy that is their boss at work? Want to know what makes our clocks tick?
No, not the cunty type that has to play devil’s advocate just to have their voice heard. No. We want you to work on yourself first and foremost. Not on trying to please us.
So take care of your shit. If you are a mom, be the best fucking mom in the whole damn world. No lazy ass couch jockeys. Minimal DVR time. The Real Housewives of Who the Fuck Cares is your enemy. You should see it like that.
You work? Then fucking own it just like I do every god damn day. If you do both, like me, be the best you know at both, just like me. If you can name somebody better than you at either one, you need to step up your fucking game.
The fuck I will ever settle for a nice pair of tits. You better bring more to the table than that if you want the world I offer.
That world comes with the best I can muster, and motherfucker, I can muster like a motherfucker. Not a day goes by that I am not dad-of-the-year, do shit around the house, never call in sick, always earn and provide, fuck like I fucking write, and write like I fucking fuck.
You get a shot at this meal ticket. Well, settle in, because I’m steak a dinner.
I work on me. Work on you. Or work on finding someone else cause my tolerance for lazy is about as big as my tolerance for deadbeat dads.
Show up. Dress the fucking part. Or dress out on the lawn. Cause that is where your clothes will be.