Well, thank you for saying “i am a great person.” I would say that is highly debatable but I’ll keep you fooled for now.
I am so sorry you had to deal with abuse as a child. Sometimes I look at what people have persevered through and I see the strength developed through their trials, and think that they can develop a deeper level of strength than I think others may be able to. I hope that is the case, anyways.
Any guy that left halfway through a scene is no Dom or anything. He is a fucking scumbag. Period. You are better off with him not in your life.
Get back out there. Focus on the love and the friendship. The D/s stuff should be secondary, but required, if that is critical for your intimacy.