Have I ever???? In my line of work I have had a few different jobs that required travelling every couple of months, usually to DC in the past.
In my time on the planes I have developed a philosophy I guess on who has the hottest women – I know – I am a fucking perv.
Ahhh!! Just so damn sexy in those outfits they wear – the scarfs around their necks is just begging me to pin them down and tie them up or squeeze their necks with it…or, so the internal dialogue goes in my head as I toss back a Bloody Mary in my isle seat, which is standard protocal on all flights.
Tito’s Vodka, Pepper, and Mix. And an eyebrow lift and smirk to the lady bringing it and we are off…
So yeah – the fantasy…My lord do I want to fuck a stewardess (yes – a “stewardess”. Feminism and political correctness be damned). Just right there in back of the plane past the last seats and restrooms. You know, where those sexy bitches just kill time reading and chatting, in between trips pushing the carts down the isle asking for drinks or trash pickups. I wonder what they really talk about when they have their down time. I wonder how often the talk turns to sex between these two girlfriend coworkers at the back of the plane. Hmmm.
Fuck! I am seriously rubbing one out to Mile High Pornhub today now.
Side note on my Philosophy. Virgin America. Hottest and Best Airline and Not Even Close (see the two pics below). Yeah. That is the interior. Best part is its not even more expensive to fly them.
Usually the non-union airlines have the sexiest girls and the union ones are more hit and miss, mainly because you get the older mean bitches who hate their jobs on American and United, and the peppy ones on Jet Blue and Virgin America. Fuck Delta. I will never fly Delta. Delta is shit. I feel very strongly about this. The only thing worse is Spirit Airlines – who might as well start charging you extra for the oxygen. Place is like the Food For Less of airlines. I’d rather walk.
Jet Blue and Virgin American are my favorite airlines anyways, regardless of the flight attendants. TVs and young sexy women and peppy gay guys serving up heavy-handed drinks with smiles. Fuck yeah. Its like the 1960s all over again., when you were treated with dignity when you flew.
Southwest is for the same people who buy shit on e-Bay. No Thanks. Fuck that. I want to swipe my card, pick out a seat, and be done. I don’t need to roll the dice after that so I can save 10 bucks. Besides, I’ll end up wedged between two big sweaty guys or two loud kids. To make it worse, Southwest Uniforms look like a bunch of fundraiser outfits. Double No Thanks.(see below)…
Like a true American, I completely ignored the fact that there is a whole world out there of way better shit to compare with, like hot as fuck Norwegian girls, Kiwi sexy bitches, UK, France, Canada, and the gorgeous fucking Aussies, etc etc etc. Sometimes being an American is downright sad at our lack of sense of international community.
Anyways. Trivia. Did you know this existed? Hooters Airlines.
No shit! For 3 years! From 2003 to 2006!
OK – I am back to being proud to be an American!
Fuck yes. Only in the US would we have this right amount of stupidity, extra money to waste, and bravado, to build an airline that nobody could justify flying on to their significant others. Seriously. Like WTF??
I can see it now…“Well Honey, Pick Me Up at Terminal A, Gate 6. Look out for the signs for Boner Air. You didn’t bring my mom with you, did you?”
So…Anyways…So yeah…my real fantasy when flying ends up looking a lot like this below…Every single time I see that sexy Stewardess pass by.