You may need a towel between your legs for this one, Miss Tumblr.
I really should stay away from this place when Four Roses Single Barrel is on sale. As I embark upon another Old Fashioned, muddled sugary orange and Angostura bitters taste almost nonexistent, as my bourbon was intentionally heavy-handed by the devilishly-handsome bartender I see standing in the mirror.
My patience in the kitchen was all but shit five minutes ago, as I recognized I really couldn’t give a fuck about the presentation factor of my whiskey drink. The second and third Old Fashioned looked more like an ice cube and my sweet 100 proof nectar.
I swear some people deserve a nice kick in the vagina. My day was ripe with people pissing me off, so a little southern American whiskey felt like the right medicine. That, and of course my lust for a certain woman that drives me inside out. Yeah, Kitten – you are the protagonist, once again, at least in my mind.
If you were here – you’d feel the brunt of my angst. I hope you get wet when you read this one because I am going to illustrate an erotic Picasso in the following paragraphs, and I expect you, and every little Miss Touchy Tumblr to play the part of the “her”, and rub your little clits until your heart’s desire.
So, as I freeze my balls off in this alpine air, looking out at stars so bright I could navigate better than an Uber driver, I really want to paint a little picture for you, Miss Tumblr, of a man about to wreck your body.
So, let’s begin, shall we?
Right now, do me a favor, Miss Touchy. Go ahead and set aside that chat with the lame guy trying to fuck you for a few minutes. Lock the door. Find a quiet spot. Get in the right mood. Because I want to take your orgasm from you…
Now unbutton that top button of your pants and follow me as I take your imagination and own you for a moment.
Are you with me yet?
Go ahead, I will wait.
That’s a good girl.
I am going to paint a very believable story for you, little one, so you can you well, “believe it”, as you touch that sweet wet pussy as I own it from afar, with just my sinister well-crafted words and my raw arrogance.
So, Miss Tumblr, I want you to imagine a scenario, playing out like this…
It all started when you messaged me with five little words. When you said, ”I’m fairly new to Tumblr.” You proceeded to tell me how my writings had been made you wet and how the passion in my voice reached you like none other. I was Mr. Cool, for as long as I could stand it. It took a little while, but once I got to know the real you, I was so hooked it was pathetic.
Hours upon hours on the phone seemed like mere seconds, with my cock in my hand as you begged for me to release your orgasms to you. Of course, I made you wait, and beg a little harder. Louder and louder, I needed to hear you say “Daddy, can I cum please?”
“But I am not ready, Kitten”, was my usual response. I cannot help it if it takes me longer to burst than you, baby girl.
Eventually, I knew I needed you, Miss Tumblr, and the phone sex was not how I needed you. I need this blog’s words to come to life and you needed me just as bad.
Didn’t you, Miss Tumblr? You need to see if these words were all talk or not.
So, do me a little favor and tell me how glistening those fingers are as you rub your clit, stuff them inside you, reach for your G spot, pull them out, and look at them.
Can you do me another favor, Miss Tumblr?
Give em a taste for me.
That’s it. Just like that. Like I said, what a Good Girl.
Now back to the episode…
Now Miss Tumblr, please imagine a man awaiting you with a nice tan, a well-trimmed salt and pepper beard, a bald freshly-shaved head, hazel sinister eyes, a crippling grin, a black button-down shirt, designer jeans, and black leather shoes standing in a doorway, as you make your way to me.
Is the picture coming into focus yet?
By the time you are within reach, I kiss you, pull you in, throw you onto the sofa, and rip your clothes off in no time. You recall having a few orgasms before and you read my words and remember thinking “yeah, sure dude”, but as soon as my mouth hits the little pink dome between your legs you recognize I am no fucking joke.
I see that first orgasm come in a couple minutes and I pretend it never happened because I am just picking up the pace as your legs start shivering. My mouth is locked on your clit, top lip above your clit as my tongue is underneath it, flicking it a mile-a-minute and you are like a fucking fish out of the water as I snatch your ability to have any coherent thought patterns.
“Cum for me, again and again, and again” are the only thoughts I have.
“Cum for me, Goddamnit!”, I say to myself inside my head.
You do so because you really have no choice in the matter at this point and just as you think this could not get any more amazing two fingers enter inside you and you remember I know exactly where your G spot is.
Exactly, where that G spot it is.
I keep breaking you down with my tongue as I fill your little pretty hole and motion “come here” with a knowledge of your body that an OB/GYN wishes they knew. You fucking fall apart again and again and again and I just cannot help but feeling like I am the king of the world.
I look right into your eyes from between your legs and you tell me with your gorgeous, disheveled face what you need. I know it. You don’t have to say anything at all.
You are asking for my cock and I am about to make what I was doing with your G spot feel like nothing at all.
I am going to fill you now – properly.
With a nice thick hard cock that you are fucking dying to have inside you now.
So just lean back, Miss Tumblr, and rub that pussy like the end is near.
My dominant hand around your neck, my left on your clit rubbing circles in rapid succession, and then my cock is forced inside you all the way back to push right into the northern end of your cervix. Relentlessly I am pounding away as you orgasm yet once again, but this time it encompasses you from head to toe and seems to never end.
Pulling out, I finish in your pretty little mouth and you take me in with more pride than you have ever taken any man in before. Why? Because what I just did to your mind and body.
So, play with that pussy a little longer, Miss Tumblr. Go ahead. Keep rubbing.
Keep on touching. Go back and read it again.
I think it’s time to fill up my whiskey drink.
Also published on Medium.