Honestly he sounds like an asshole if he is not listening to you when you are crying. Set the whole daddy/submissive shit aside for a moment. In a relationship, he should listen and value your opinion, no matter what. And vice versa. The whole “I don’t think he exactly knows what his role should be” is a bit worrisome too. His role should be your companion. Don’t let the Daddy/sub shit cloud the fact that you should be partners first and foremost.
You guys need to communicate, no matter what the stakes, in a real down-to-earth fashion. The degradation words and all that can have a place that is very fun and hot but if your not on the same page emotionally in that context you are just going to fuck each other up.
Talk. It’s that simple. If he is not willing to talk, then you need to up and leave. Communication is the most important part of any relationship, romantic or anything else. If you don’t have that, you have nothing. I hope things work out for you. Sorry you are struggling right now.