Hello Sir -I’m curious, how would you explain to someone interested in exploring D/s how dominance is earned?
Holy shit. @exoticeva just sent me an Ask. I am totally fangirl-ing right now. Please know I find your Blog to be the best written blog on all of Tumblr, and that includes mine. Maybe you didn’t want that compliment but you really are exceptional.
To answer your question, I’d say the way Dominance is earned is through submission. A Dom, just because he is a Dominant in the relationship, should still become vulnerable in his heart to the woman (I apologize for using He/she terms; it’s easier when I put myself in the role).
What I mean is – in order to earn her submissive side – you too need to give all of yourself over to her. Your heart, your mind, your complete self. You may be the one setting to guidelines and issuing the tasks, proving structure, and enabling her submissive side to flourish, but at the end of the day, you still should be hers for the taking, emotionally speaking.
Make her know it. Communicate it the best you can. Never let her wonder. Ever. She is delicate when she gifts you all of her and you need to treat her as such. It’s not like a normal relationship in that regard; she gave you the part she held back elsewhere, so you need to step up and be her companion through it all.
The woman I gave this side of me to would never doubt in a million years she has me in her back pocket because I tell her all damn day long. Every single day without fail and everywhere I can.
I might pull hair and spank an ass, but she is just as powerful in every way.
You have to give yourself in order to receive someone. Plain and simple.
Thank you for the question and for the amazing writing that you give us all. You have such a gift.