Hello there ^_^ I’m a Demisexual girl. And I need advice.i have only been with one person physically and in a relationship we lasted almost 8 years but sexually it ended in 2014-2015 and completely in early 2016. Every time I tell people who I am they run or say I have intimacy issues which is not the case. I miss having sex. But with the right person. But it is very hard and sometimes I feel alone. What is the best way to approach a person? Gender does not matter as I’m pansexual also. ?
Well, I had to Google that one. “Demisexual”.
Now that I am effectively learned, Demisexual is a person who does not experience sexual attraction unless they form a strong emotional connection with someone. Pansexual, is somebody who has sex with pots and pans. ?
Can we all hold up for a moment and stop making Rick Santorum look like a fucking prophet with all these new labels. Sorry – maybe I am just old but having sex only after you have a strong emotional connection used to be called being selective. I think the reason labels irritate me so much is that they are a box and you should just allow yourself to change as needed, in my opinion. Then again, I am just an old pans-labyrinth-sexual, so what do I know.
Okay – I will stop being a smart ass for a bit. The part where you said “Every time I tell people who I am they run or say I have intimacy issues which is not the case. I miss having sex. But with the right person. But it is very hard and sometimes I feel alone.”
If people run from you because you are not open to having sex with them before you build an emotional connection with them, then that tells you all you need to know about who they are in the first place. Count your blessings that you didn’t give one of these guys what you hold sacred.
What is the best way to approach a person? Be honest and tell them the situation up front (i.e. that you won’t fuck them unless they are you are in a relationship) and you have a deep connection first.
That is the best you can do. Most guys will bail, but the good ones will stick around if they see the potential.