You know I’m just a fool who’s willing
To sit around and wait for you
But baby can’t you see there’s nothing else for me to do
I’m hopelessly devoted to you
But now there’s no way to hide
Since you pushed my love aside
I’m outta my head hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
Hopelessly devoted to you
I write about a lot on this blog.
The theme sometimes changes, but the only constant really is that whatever I am writing about – it what is in my heart, at that time.
Sometimes it’s about sex. Sometimes it’s about rough sex. Sometimes it’s funny, I hope. Sometimes it’s about my role as a man.
What is in my heart, right now, is Love.
The idea of it.
We have all been there, or will be. You know that feeling. When you just cannot get that person out of your head. You don’t want to. You want to just stay in the idea of that person, forever.
When you do something when they are not around, you wonder what it would be like, if they were.
When you hear a song, you listen to the words and relate. When you sing to yourself in the shower or while driving, you do it, as if they were your audience.
It is so special to be in that place. It really is. Being in that place, 100%, makes me a better for it, in every way.
My first was when I was 15. That was my first encounter with that emotion, of Love. She cheated on me with my closest friend. That hurt like hell. I remember crying my eyes out when I realized she did it. Fuck her. Her life sucks now. Facebook is good for something and I know this to be a truth.
My next, real deep one was at 17, a senior in high school. My lord did I love this girl. But it was never meant to be, we were young, and she eventually opted for the road her parents chose for her. Fuck her as well. She did shit I can’t even write about at the end. And yes, her life sucks now too. Loveless zombielike-life in a passionate woman, all for the sake of her lame ass religion.
I won’t recite them all. The list is very short. Very. I’ve had plenty of girlfriends. Beautiful ones. Plenty of partners. Few of them ever got “L” word thrown their way. That word is sacred to me.
But I cannot help loving the idea of Love. The actual feeling of Love. Nothing, no D/s lame ass “I am your Beacon of Darkness” shit can ever come in front of that for me. That’s when the D/s stuff gets unreal. After that connection is made.
And the best kind of connection, is good old-fashioned, Serendipity-esque, ‘Somewhere In Time’-like, constant butterflies, belting out a love song as I sit in traffic, you have so many flaws but all I see is perfection, why can’t I always feel like this, Jerry McGuire bad taglines but I use em anything, Sandy I’m gonna put on this lame letterman’s jacket so I can win you back type of Love.
That – is the best shit around.