This isn’t sometimes
Yeah, it’s for always
If I’m gonna love you with all of my heart
And if there is no more time
This always remains
Even as the world spins itself apart…
Cuz I remember the days I waited so patiently
For God to bring someone who’s gonna be good to me
And then he blessed my soul
Well, I traveled a long way
And it took a long time to find you…
But I finally found you…
– Alabama Shakes
As I sit here and my head throbs from a week of minimal sleep, all I care about is being accurately expressive. For some reason, I just hope and pray that my pen to paper will follow my heart for the duration of this written piece.
For I know before I write this – that this is a special one.
So, I will write my last post under Tumblr’s old rules as if it were a benchmark, signifying the turning of the page, opening a new chapter, and of course, there could be no other topic to cover more important than one of expression of what you mean to me.
I will reflect, upon it all.
Ironically, as I sit here the TV on in the background keeps playing our songs in commercials, almost as if God is encouraging me to remember things, but how could I ever forget. Yet it still feels weird to hear “Ooh La La” from The Faces or “Ends of the Earth” from Lord Huron while I type because those songs carried me through some hard times in your always-brief absence.
“I am fairly new to Tumblr”, you said.
Months later the world as I knew it before was turned upside down and only in the best ways. I never knew – that I could feel like this.
I just never knew – until you.
As I stood on the patio of that Marriott in July, I met the most complete person I’d ever meet – and I fell in love and got fucking addicted to every moment I could have with you.
I could not stop. You could not stop.
We mirrored the passion in each other and kept climbing and climbing and climbing, far past anything either of us ever knew. “Fuck it”, I thought. “Keep diving deeper.”
Then you became my sub. My Kitten. And things got intense.
Watching you approaching me was the stomach-dropping experience of a lifetime. Pulling you close, kissing you like I never kissed anyone, throwing you down and completely taking your body and making you do backflips. My gift was to take you, make you cum, over and over and over, but to let you see in my eyes and every word I ever spoke to you – that I fucking love you like nobody else ever can or ever will.
Flipping your legs up, faceplanting myself between your delicious thighs so I could service you and shock you to your core as you came for me so many times our first three days were only surpassed by our next three days,
I remember Mr. Words completely speechless and dumbfounded as you asked to crawl over my knee and take fifty hits on each ass cheek. I remember hearing your whimpers and seeing to ache to whimper more.
There are so many details about you I could write a book, which I will.
But for now, I will remember the taste of your mints in that kitchen.
The way you feel when you sleep with your back pressed up against my chest. I will even remember knowing the devastation that follows each night you are not in my arms, but never once give up hope or persistence for decades with you, as my little spoon.
The pains and risks and no fucking matter what – no matter what – you and me, always fighting through it all to make sure one thing and one thing only would always persist. And that is the promise of a future of us.
There is no passionate love greater for you in your life or me in mine and I intend to make sure we exhaust every option to fight for us, so I will.
So keep that day collar on, Kitten, because you are mine.
For I love you, little one.
Also published on Medium.