I have a question, it’s not sex-related. my brother is 12 and my sister and I (I’m 19, she’s 17) have to take care of him, she and I have a lot of different tactics when it comes to teaching him, I think we’re doing a fairly good job but lately he’s been having a lot of mood swings, I guess? How do we deal with this in a way that is healthy for both of us? ps, can’t ask our parents, they care, just not enough. thank you if you answer. do enjoy the rest of your night! or day!
Fuck. You aren’t kidding.
You are basically asking me how to be a parent, in an Ask nonetheless.
I guess I would say a few things:
(1) identify other adults nearby who actually do a good job with their own kids and in life in general (who are good role models), and lean on them as mentors. When you have a question, pick up the phone and call them. I didn’t have a good father figure, but I did have other men nearby (i.e. uncles), who I learned a lot from and picked and chose the good qualities from them. You should find other adults such as uncles and aunts to spend time with and include your brother and sister. You are the eldest – it is unfortunately on you to make that bridge since your fucking parents have foregone their obligation as caretakers.
(2) If you can change legal guardianship to yourself or a trusted family member, do so before your parents fuck up something like managing a medical emergency, if your parents are really that bad. You will need to research this on the local county court website. Obviously, you will need to weigh that concern against foster care.
(3) Talk to your parents. I mean really talk to them. Maybe they just need a reality check that other people are about to assume their role because they have their heads up their asses. Give them a chance to fix it.
(4) On you and your sister, all I can say is: you are the eldest. As a man, I assume the leadership role, in everything when it comes to my children. As the eldest, you can do the same. You need her help and support so you should respect her and be a team, but at some point, somebody has to make the executive decision sometimes, and unfortunately, that looks like it is you.
Above all – get help. You are too young to do this shit alone and you may think you are knowledgeable enough for that role, but trust me you are not. There is a reason why children who are raised by 30-40-year-olds fair better in life than children raised by 19-year-olds. Just make sure you identify the right people to help shape your and his youth. Good jobs. Healthy, functional kids. College educated or at least intelligent people with a decent, normal outlook on life.