There is so much wrong here it hurts.
“I just told my husband that I am frustrated that I never cum“ – good for you. Fucking blows me away guys don’t aim for this in spades.
“can’t fake it because when I cum my pussy clenches down hard with spasms, so he knows I don’t.“ – seriously, don’t ever fake it. Ever. I know you can’t but if he thinks he is rocking your world and he isn’t, he will just keep at it. You are the one who suffers in the end.
“Once, to make he feel better I told him that it still feels good to be penetrated even if I don’t cum- which is true, but not when I cum only 1 out of 10.“ – Don’t kid yourself. If you are capable of achieving orgasm, you should at least once, every single time. He does.
“The thing is that it is always quick and while I am highly orgasmic, it does take me longer than 4 minutes with no foreplay.” Foreplay has to be a part of it, unless it’s some quickie in the garage or kitchen or public. There is nothing wrong with you that it takes longer than 4 minutes of penetration to cum. That is normal.
“He is pissed now and I am not sure what to do.” – He needs to stop being a fucking baby. His wife says she wants foreplay and to achieve orgasm and he gets mad? Maybe you are at fault a tad (I wasn’t there so I don’t know), and you may need to change your tact but you are right in this argument, so stick with it. Just maybe not make him feel like he sucks in bed, and let him know, foreplay is key for sex to be good for you. He shouldn’t even start fucking you until you came, at least one time, bare minimum.