I saw your post about what we’d like us women to know from a men’s perspective. It would be very helpful to know about how to be submissive when you’re a virgin and want to hold onto that for the moment, is it even possible? Also, do men appreciate emotionally vulnerable women? Because I’m an alpha in real life but when I’ve tried to open up to someone, and that was the only time I’ve tried to, they didn’t take it seriously because I’m this tough independent girl. Thank you.
Well let’s unravel this cause there are several thing here. I’ll address each question separately.
First, can you be submissive and a virgin? Short answer – Yes. (a) We all have boundaries and those boundaries are off limits and vaginal intercourse is yours. (b) Submission is about giving your mind and body to a person, removing emotional walls you typically have in a vanilla relationship, and allowing yourself a deep vulnerability by sharing every emotion you hold, from fear to happiness to sadness to love. Physically this manifests when you give your body to the Dom you trust completely, but your Dom likely has only gotten close enough to earn that trust through understanding you, and what is important to you, such as maintaining your virginity. Fore play likely will play a big role, but believe it or not, some people have completely asexual D/s relationships.
2. Do men appreciate emotionally vulnerable women? First off men are usually idiots. Secondly, I assume you mean, emotionally delicate? The Dom and sub dynamic is based in large part on emotional vulnerability, so, yes I’d say many want emotional vulnerability, but usually stay away from emotionally delicate people. In short, we don’t want sad Cathy’s but we want your most vulnerable side and to hold you up. The good men do. Then there are the idiots, which are most of them. Sorry. Better you learn now.
3. Comment. I’m sorry the one guy you opened up to did not reciprocate. In my opinion, reciprocity is the bedrock of a healthy relationship. Without it, you are doomed. Make sure you have it in any relationship before you give parts of your heart or body that should be shared only with a person who reciprocates.