I know this may not be the answer that you are looking for, but please see where I am coming from first.
I wasn’t always Mr Confidence – I too was shy and nervous with girls at one point. It took me believing in myself to become the man I am today. This came with hard work and a sense of accomplishment, staying at it, never giving up when things got hard, either with college, my career, or being a dad. Then one day I looked back and was like – wow, I really have knocked this shit out of the park.
In bed, and what this Blog is about is just one side of me, but it is just more of that. I think finding out how to make a woman cum IS an accomplishment. Then finding another way, then another, then multiple, then several, then a dozen – and before you know it – I am feeling pretty damn good about myself as I stand over a woman who is just completely wiped out from my motivation for “accomplishments”.
Women – including you – have so much more to be confident about, just by naturally being women, than men do, in my opinion. You can multitask complex thoughts like it is nothing and I envy you for it. Your body is a piece of art no matter what shape and size it is. Everything about women is something to be proud of. That doesn’t even start to look at your accomplishments. Your attitude. Your drive. Your brain. Those things are the real prize.
You just have to realize how amazing you are, as a woman, and own it.
I used to date a lot of very very pretty but very boring, often ditzy and not very confident girls. What I found out early on is that this was just never something I’d be okay with. I am empathetic when people are hurting or in in need. I am a giver, through and through, but when it comes to a person’s character, I don’t emphasize very well. I just don’t give a fuck if people can’t pull themselves together and see the wonderful blessing from God that is Life. I am far harder on men than women, but I’d never be with a woman who doesn’t carry own weight. I like alpha women who are submissive.
As somebody who takes life and runs with it, I hardly want to spend my time next to Miss Worried About It. It is hard thing to hear, but it is the truth.
“shy, or hesitant. What if she is worried she will get rejected..: This is Okay, honey. We are all like this a bit. People who are not worried about rejection are fucking weirdos, usually full of themselves past what is healthy.
Have you ever read about “self-efficacy”, “self-esteem”, and “self-concept”. The Cliffs Notes version is this: Self-concept is the way you perceive yourself, and is usually used as a tool for accuracy of other views of one’s self. Self-esteem is how you “feel” about yourself, or better yet – how you respect and regard yourself. Self-efficacy is how you view your ability to accomplish things.
What I found to be extremely interesting about these concepts is that people with the highest “Self-Esteem” were the same people with a fucked up “Self-Concept”, meaning overly-confident people are actually wrong in how they view themselves, and people with lower self-esteem are actually more accurate in their self-concept. However, a low self-efficacy (i.e. fear of risks, fear of uncertainty, too much worry) is bad, and can be crippling for future “accomplishments” if you allow it to be.
Basically – in short – some humble pie is a good thing. But don’t let anything stop you from accomplishing. It’s those accomplishments that help your self-esteem and self-efficacy rise, in time.
In other words, you won’t be shy and worried to the point it is crippling once you kick some ass a bit. Take the small wins and smile, put your chest out, and own it.
It is so damn sexy when you do.