You are good enough. Exs are hard to compete with; history and memories are strong emotions to try and battle.
People naturally want nostalgia, and his ex offered him that. No way to really compete with that. It wasn’t you. It just was the way he is.
Soon, you will be the nostalgia, when he realizes why he wasn’t with her in the first place, and you can laugh and give him the middle finger when you have a better man if he tries coming back.
Fuck him. Move on. Life’s too short.
Update: From the Him…
Update: I have a pretty good indication that these two posts are related, first from the girl, then from the guy.
If only one person reads this, I hope it is the girl. So I am writing this as if she and he are reading it…
Honey, this guy actually really gives a shit about you, and I know in messages, he is torn apart at the idea that you may be down on yourself, and wishes he could reach out but knows it would complicate matters more.
Part of me is torn on relaying this because I know it might be seen as him trying to “save face” and get to walk away feeling all good still, but that would be wrong because sometimes you can just sense a person’s candor. I genuinely think that this guy is a good, caring Man, which probably doesn’t make it any easier, but in fact harder. Still – he thinks you are the world – and that his decision had nothing to do with you..
So, now for the TRD classic sarcastic dickhead version that wreaks through in every post.
“Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make me a match, Find me a find, catch me a catch”. Head Up, Tits Out. Smile. Fake it until you don’t have to anymore. Here is the really real fucking version from your’s truly:
Every single fucked up time in my life where I have been you or been him – it was never, ever, ever about the Girl. It was, just like he said, situational. Not about You. So you should be happy and find wisdom and solace in that truth.
Timing. External circumstances. Etc. I think Hollywood and books build relationship endings always to be like these easy, case-closed, storybook endings where a person is just straight-up bad, or they live happily every after. Rarely is it realistic. Usually, it is just bad fucking timing. That is the hardest part. Finding some amazing woman or guy from Kalamazoo-Upper Kennebunkport West Dakota only to remember you can’t be her man/his woman, or vice versa.
But to the Dom, even though you care, exs are exs for a reason. My advice in the first post hold’s true – odds are, you will be the one regretting this decision in the end. You are a good guy; I see it. But exs are exs for a reason. That never has worked out for anyone in the history of the world. And we all have tried it. We have all wanted it. And every single one of us remembers why we got together, and in time, we remember why split up in the first place, and it is that much easier to split up a second time because we did it before. Not wish that on you, but your road is harder than girl that first sent the Ask in.
I genuinely hope you both find happiness, in each other or separately.
PS. I am fucking awesome. Just in case you were wondering.