@leighjane78 – since this was really the same topic extended over two Asks and Tumblr’s character limits are shitty for Asks, I hope you don’t mind but I answered it in one piece.
First, thank you for the compliment on the writing. Yes, there is a lot of heart in what I write and to add to that everything in the reblogs queue tends to be July through now, so even the reblogs of late are wrought with heart and soul over “the girl”.
So, about your situation…
I’ve been in enough relationships in my life to know the dichotomy that you feel between give and take. I always say communication is key: does he actually know, as I do, that you feel this way? Sometimes people’s ability to sense the needs of others is just off, and there is no way for them to really understand unless you lay it out there. I say this because you “love” him; I’d hate to recommend ending a relationship where love is involved before you make your best efforts to remedy the situation.
That being said, there is a fundamentally toxic problem going on in your relationship if you are crying yourself to sleep, aching for him to show affection to you. I still think you need to express this, but if he doesn’t act on your concerns, I think you need to move on and find someone who will.
Reciprocation I always say is the bedrock of every healthy relationship. I realize I drone on and on about “her” to the point some of my followers problem want to dry heave; I write and in some ways that is my gift to her. But never once have I felt this was one-sided. I’d never accept that nor would she.
My point is, you, as well as every other person, deserves to feel reciprocation in your emotions. You should feel as important to your partner as what you express to them. If you don’t, it’s just a matter of time before it eats at you and the bottom drops out.