New Tasks, Dolls…Happy Turkey Day Week
Well, so many people wanted to play last week and were late to the game, and December 14th is so so far away, so I thought I would make your shitty labor-intensive and always stressful Thanksgiving Day a little more memorable. Especially since many of you will be watching dickhead logging 9 hours of NFL viewing while he rests for ‘outworking you’ all year as you juggle cooking ten things in one oven, like a fucking magician, all for the always rewarding, “oh, this tastes good” comment. Fuck that. Turkey sandwiches.
Let’s make this Turkey Day one to remember and remember about what our Founders always intended – slutty little wet pussies.
Not American? Doesn’t matter. You are this week. Besides, we all know you all want to be (spoken like a true, dumbass embarrassingly arrogant American in the only language he ever learned, straight from the horrific public education system I learned it in).
So. We are all gonna play a little game. Again. (You got wet, didn’t you?).
However, since this is a tad different. I have to make it harder to flag a winner, since winning is a part of it and some people are super-competitive, and no, I am not going to quote Charle Sheen. Ah fuck it…”Winning!!!”…I couldn’t resist. On “winning” though, just ask the last girl if I am true to my word: she just got a gift basket of sin from Amazon a few days ago.
So, here’s the dealio. I am going list 8 tasks – complete them as you want, in no particular order. The stakes have been raised though. I have thrown down the gauntlet.
You have 4 days, starting now through the end of Thanksgiving Day, to complete them all. Winner take all. Whoever can get the closest to completing them, wins the reward. And winning, when I am involved, looks a lot like Christmas Morning for your wet slutty pussy.
- One Point Per Task, described in writing.
- Double points for a Pic of the Task.
- Triple points for Audio or Video* of the Task.
- Sorry, anything after Thursday at midnight doesn’t count. I am on vacation starting Friday morning and can’t be dicking around with tabulating your whorish state. I’ll still post it, but Excel is on lockdown.
*Oh yeah, Tumblr policy is that they don’t host porn videos, so if you send a video file, make sure no tits or pussy or ass is in it or I have to change it to a GIF. Unless you post it to some site, then send me the link. You can still send a super sexy video without showing us your HooHa, btw. God this is just getting complicated. Besides, Audio is just as fucking hot with a pic to accompany it.
The Solo Tasks:
- Solo Task #1 (Task 1): Masturbate with an object that is not a sex toy or your hands (e.g. an electric toothbrush, a vegetable, anything you can hold in your hand or ride).
- Remember. Show your work. Describe it. You might just find yourself with a new plastic dick in your by next week.
- Solo Task #2 (Task 2): Edge, at least 30 minutes, and then don’t cum. Then come back at least 2 hours later and cum.
- Like Billy Joel, tell us about it.
- Solo Task #3 (Task 3): Go to bed plugged, or go about your day plugged for at least 4 hours. No plug? Geez, buy a plug already. They cost like 10 bucks. Still, no plug, you can play along – rule is that something has to be in you, ass or pussy. Ben Wa, vibe, or anything household that fits and is sanitary. I don’t need you shoving a taco up inside you for the sake of being a good little girl. Then do household work or go to the store or work with something inside you. Remember 4 hours or sleeping.
- Describing how you felt is kind essential.
- Solo Task #4 (Task 4): Watch porn. Masturbate. Seems easy, right? One caveat though. Yeah, remember, I am a dick. Set your phone up behind you on video mode or record the audio, and have at yourself.
- Double points for audio or video.
The Public Tasks:
- Public Task #1 (Task 5): Selfie in a public institution of your naked goods. Gas Station, Restaurant, etc. Upskirt or downblouse. Faceless is perfectly fine for this task, and every other task, for that matter.
- Yeah, the video Tumblr rule, I know. Since naked is a requirement, ditch the video in lieu of audio, but a pic would be nice.
- Public Task #2 (Task 6): Talk to a stranger on the phone, and use the words/phrases “orgasm”, “pussy”, “I’m so horny”, and “cock”. If you must remain anonymous, find a phone booth (yeah, they still exist) or get a burner line from the App store for free.
- Extra bonus point if I can hear them too in the audio.
- Public Task #3 (Task 7): Have sex with a stranger. Just kidding. Nope, the task is: flirt with somebody, heavily, of the same sex if you are straight, and if you are gay, then somebody of the opposite sex. If you are bi, then you have to flirt with a couple.
- I don’t expect audio or video or a pic, just a story here. If you find some magic way to incorporate any of the above, extra point.
Thanksgiving Day Task:
- Turkey Day Task (Task 8): Play with your pussy, no matter what, on Thursday, at the Thanksgiving Day get together, when the house is packed. Find a way.
- For you non-Americans, your Task is a very public place, such as a restaurant restroom, work, etc. The point is, it must be risky and must be Thursday and you must masturbate in public.
All audio and video files* should be sent to:
*If the files are too long or too big to send via email (my mail limit is 50 MB), compress with a free online tool like clipchamp or videosmaller or an App like VideoCompress.
One last thing. I’m not a homophobe. Guys, you wanna play too, be my guest. Your stories will be posted in full, but I am hetero and the blog reflects that, so be mindful in the videos and pics, that this is a straight yet open blog. Full points still will be given but I’m not about to post a dude with cucumber up his butt for the sake of seeming progressive. I get off on the blog too. Still, guys can compete and win if done with a little thought.
Have some fun, ladies. Each night I will post this again at midnight as a reminder. Scores won’t be posted until the end though.
Oh yeah! One last thing. There are no points for having your blog name posted. Everything will be posted anonymous unless you state otherwise.