First of all, thank you for the Ask and for trusting me to be sensitive to your situation.
I’m really sorry that this is your dilemma – it fucking sucks and I see it all the time. I suspect that your story is probably similar to most women reading this right now and it blows my mind that this is our generation’s status quo.
Most guys are selfish when it comes to sex – that is just a fact. I think it probably stems from a) not knowing how to really make a woman has a mind-blowing experience and not understanding their body, b) being too prideful at a late age to try and figure it out or ask (most guys want to believe they are the world’s best gift to women and they know deep down they are full of shit so they ignore it), and c) sometimes, they just don’t care about their women’s experience and are just being selfish. I personally don’t understand “c)” because I am not innately built that way, but I understand “a)” and “b)” because I was that guy once.
“Any suggestions on some things to try and get him interested?” Well, I suppose the first thing to do is talk to him about all this. It will be uncomfortable, but if he understands “the manliest thing a man can do is satisfy a woman”, maybe it will plant a seed. Does he make you cum? If not, tell him. Ask him what the fuck is going on and that you are horny? Does he want to try different things (i.e. is he bored?), and maybe some new toys or bondage or something kinkier than the past. The best I can say is – you have to let him know the severity of the situation because eventually, you will reach a point where he cannot reach anymore, you leave or cheat or just stop caring and a side of you dies inside. The reality is, most guys will still not react in the way you hope for. There is a reason that most marriages end in divorce.
You have to communicate. Therapy is the next step after that. I hope you and he have a real talk about it because though it will suck for a week after, six months from now things may be far better for your intimacy.
On the flip side, he should understand that if he starts making the sex about you – he will be a fucking God in your presence. He really should understand that all the little shit he bickers with you about will be gone if he just makes you cum so hard and often you ache for him in his absence.
Sometimes guys are just clueless that they can have what they want if they’d just show a little passion.
Once again, thank you.