Well, the flip-book version of still frames above has to be my second-to-least favorite sexual position, right behind me on my desk chair alone looking at Pornhub.
I get it. You ladies like to ride the pine. Well why don’t I just hand you my nuts while we’re at it.
Sure, I accommodate but that’s just because I’ll accommodate any woman, especially in naked form. Just don’t be too surprised when I yank your ponytail and throw you on your side, slip a hand around your neck, and drive ole pinky right into your stomach like a mental patient.
I need to be in control. I need to fuck you. To “fuck you”. My dick is no ornament so after your G gets a good rub-a-dub from my gorgeous, beautiful, handsome, Dr. did-a-good-job-circumcising-me party of hardness, I’m driving the whoopie stick right into you at the speed I see fit.
Sorry cupcake. Fucking is a man’s game. Getting fucked is a ladies. Sure I’ll turn the table from time to time to appease you but every moment you are on top, even though you look incredibly sexy, I am just waiting for the next time I get to drill you.
So, to conclude, my dick, my tempo, you are fucking mine god damnit, and I’m taking out my week on your pink little box. Get the fuck off of me already so I can do it.