I knew a girl once that told me she came fastest from anal, and I didn’t see her as needing any fixing. Quite the opposite – I would have given anything for her.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you – just keep experimenting and trying new techniques with oral and fingering. Everyone is different and some people need less direct action on the clit or G spot to get in the headspace first, then they will cum, once you bring the clit or G in focus.
My guess is that you fall in that camp. Our bodies change and next year you might be singing a different tune. I can see why you don’t want to be a “butt slut”. It’s not like you can just do anal anytime, anywhere, and you miss out on the wonderful vagina if you always focus on the ass.
My advice: know inside yourself that you are fine, stop worrying because you may find yourself in the right headspace once you let the stress go, and try new approaches.
Oh. And that pain part. Totally got me.