When you step into the “sex shop” part of a relationship. It’s right past “we fuck every day” and before the “I’ll pay the electric bill” part of the relationship. Never been there? It’s a fun part, no doubt.
Giggling your way through the massive rubber dicks asking yourself “Who fucking uses that?”, until you see somebody walk right up and purchase one. Or the creepy guy alone by himself taking the FleshLight out of the box to put his finger in it to test out the softness of it.
I ask myself all kinds of questions in these stores – and I am one kinky motherfucker. But still – I ask myself: who buys the male vibrating ass dildo? The 2-Liter circumference suction rubber dong? The chick behind the counter – what does she say when people ask her where she works? But I digress.
When you are there, with your lady, planning out your night, and it’s time to buy the lube, Hitachi, cuffs, blindfold, and jelly dildo that you want inside her pussy when you Hitachi her clit while you fuck her pretty little ass, you realize one thing – I am one kinky son of a bitch too.
Bring it the fuck on. I’m making this little diva scream, cry, cum, and cum again and again and again and again. She will not know what hit her.
What hit her is a combination of me, purpose, and…