Well, thanks for the question. Normally I’d say: be who you are, but it seems like you consciously want to be something more “dominant”, so I’ll just say what I find to be what works for me.
It is inside me so I cannot say necessarily how to “be passionate”. I think the more you “rock her world”, the easier it is to embrace it. The truth is that I just drop all reservations about everything and run after her with pure passion. It’s like I am a caged animal and when my #orange-sky is there, I am unhinged, just full of happiness and pure passion, bottled up and shaken.
Does it have to be “dominant”? I guess I don’t really know what you mean. I am aggressive, rough, and seek her orgasm in spades. Am I Dominant? Or does a flogger and cuffs make me Dominant?
I think of them both as dominant but some people may not, so I tend to avoid labels in general and stick with adjectives instead.
So, your question: How can I be more dominant when the girl I’m with wants me to be?
- Attitude – be the leader, at all times, during your intimacy. If she is submissive, this pleases her – it is not a slight – see it as a gift you are giving her. She aches for a strong man, so be it. You have to be a dick. You don’t even have to say one single word. Your nonverbal communication should say it all.
- Instructions – I tend to prefer leading through saying things such as “climb up on the bed and take off all your clothes. Now touch your pussy for me.” Trust me, if she is submissive, she wants to say “Yes, Daddy”, but even more so, she wants to hear, “Good Girl.” Now, you can’t break out in a giggle when you say it. Own it.
- Read – I always recommend people who are learning, as I am, to read books and forums. It is not that it will tell you what to do, but it will get you thinking, and that is important.
- Take It Seriously – if you are embarking on D/s as a relationship type, as the Dom, you need to not half-ass it. You need to take the time to learn and be knowledgeable. Somebody is giving you a very vulnerable side of themselves, so it is on you to be responsible with them.
- Communicate – seriously. Guesswork should not exist. Know what she wants, know what you want, know what worked, know what didn’t, then revise, improve, and repeat.
Thanks for the question. Best of luck.