Fuck if I know. I would look at it like this: Find A Good Man. One that makes you laugh, has his shit together, is mature, and doesn’t have a childish temper.
Then tell him you like your hair pulled. If he moves in closer to hear more, you have a keeper. He may not know what to do yet, but he will. Grow together.
I wouldn’t completely shit on dating sites and FetLife and other stuff, but you should focus on life compatibility first, not sex, so if you find people there, make sure that if you are looking for a partner, you remember the stuff that matters – can you see yourself Loving that person?
That’s my opinion, if I were looking for companion.
That, or of course, just send some naked pictures of vagina. That always works too.