When did you know that you #love #orangeskyforever #curious
It didn’t take long and I knew well before it was spoken.
As a grown man who resists this type of thing naturally to the point I have guarded a lot against it in the past, when you realize it and that something different is happening, you go through a phase where you are torn between trying to convince yourself you are being hysterical, so you push back on that idea internally and try to reconcile this new hysteria because you want to maintain rational thought. After all, I am an adult; not a Lionel Richie song.
However, eventually that all will subside and you just decide to just run with it, because deep down you know what it really is – that I genuinely love her.
Yeah, I know. Somebody play Endless Love and punch me in the balls.
The truth is – it’s not something that happens every day, every year or even every decade, and I am not going to be an idiot and pretend it hasn’t completely changed my perspective on life, love, and friendship.
That time was a long time ago now “when I knew”; when exactly is between her and I. We’ve been through a lot since that first time we spoke those words or realized it. Tumblr has seen a lot of those emotions from me which I am happy to share, but at the end of the day, this place is just a tool for me to express.
She happens to be the target of my expression most often. Sometimes not. Sometimes I’ll write about something impersonal like body types or how to perform foreplay, but I write most days to woo her. It makes me feel good to write it and it makes her feel good to read it. It’s a very small element of us though, although I know it is the only side people have a window into.
When you look at it like this – we have a D/s love, but we have something different than most people, even in D/s relationships. She is the centerpiece of highly-personal poetic praise every night, and I get to be the poet. It’s actually kind of fucking cool when you look at it like that.
Just wait until the novel comes out; that will be intense.
Thanks for the Ask.