When They Make Em’ Like This Again…I’ll be Clark Gable.
Until then, I’ll be Dean Martin.
I recognize that most the followers here are of the penis-less variety, so please don’t take offense ladies when I bask in the nostalgia of black and white grace.
It’s not you, it’s me, or something like that.
Chivalry is not dead, Miss Tumblr. In fact, it is alive and well in the rawest form you can ingest from afar, every single day at the business end of my iPhone. In person, it is so much more.
I open car doors. I buy flowers.
I make sure intimacy is for her to feel on top of the world.
I take care of my shit. And I got news for you, I am not the only man out there that does, though sometimes it feels like it when I look around at the men I see.
But what is dead, or at least so it seems, is the Audrey Hepburn of our day. What happened to the girly girl sweetheart, bat-your-eyes, take-care-of-herself, embracing her feminine side while still being a badass woman?
I am sure you exist, Miss Tumblr. The girl reading thing – you probably are an Audrey. I’m not a complete pessimist. I just personally, in my life, not through Tumblr, know a grand total of zero of them, aside from my own mom and sister.
So when Audrey comes back around, I’ll stop being Dean.
And I’ll be Humphrey Bogart.
Til then, pour me a glass of bourbon while I appeal to your darker side.