”She was going down on me at the time” – Brodie Bruce
Well I’ve never blasted a fart out mid-coitus but I would never put my dick inside a woman who was not thoughtful enough to understand I would be utterly humiliated and horrified if that happened during sex.
What do you do? Well, trust me – you will have that “queef” moment just from the fact he is pumping air inside your wet hoo-ha, so you can expect that one to happen – many times. Big deal; it’s a somewhat funny moment that sticks in my head maybe one nanosecond and then the guy should just pretend it didn’t happen because that is what grown ups do. She is already mortified so just ignore it and move on.
Sneezing and coughing? Try having pneumonia and all the gross shit that comes up out of you and realize the person you are with is beyond amazing because she doesn’t care about the gross factor but cares about your health.
Fluffing your words? Yeah, if he is good in bed, that should happen. Just relax, be you, and enjoy yourself. Be with a grown up, not some dumb childish idiot and you will be fine.