Honestly, it’s hard to put myself in that place because I am not looking or available, contrary to public opinion sometimes. I enjoy the banter and probably take a bit far sometimes, but Tumblr is a writing outlet for me; a place for expression. Nothing more.
But I can say this about depression. We all get there at times. We all get sad. We all wish things were better. We all dwell in it too long for our own good.
But that is normal. What is not, is celebrating it, like I see so often on these “I wanna kill myself blogs.” Suicide is no joke. I’ve had people close to me do it and people close to me scarred from the results of it. I loved a girl who was very serious about it and if not for some emergency room surgeons, she would have accomplished it. You will notice I use a lot of smart-ass expressions and words here; what you will never find, anywhere, in every sentence in this blog, is a joke about “blowing my brains out” or “I wanna kill myself if I hear one more time” fill-in-the-blank. To me that shit isn’t funny. Just like the word ‘retard’ hurt other people, so I changed my blog to be void of it because I put myself in their shoes.
Long-term depression is just an extension of that pain. Not everyone gets suicidal, but it’s a scar that can impact everyone around you. Making it a thing to celebrate perpetuates the sickness, in my opinion. People with real depression issues should seek real help. It’s a horrible way to go through life. My heart really does go out to them. If you have an infection, you’ll go to the doctor, but if your mind has a sickness, too often people will try and ignore it. Get help. You will start to see the good in this world.
To answer your question directly: if I were single, I would hope I would look at people as a whole. Not judging them for normal sadness. But I would probably not be attracted to somebody who couldn’t smile, laugh, and was always a downer. But, I have fallen for depressed women, so like I said, I tend to look at the good in people. But I am past a point in my life where I want to be a support system in a capacity that I cannot fix or support.
So I think my answer is – I would fall for whoever my heart told me to, but I would hope my heart found a happy girl.