Ok, there is a lot to unravel here and honestly I am a little confused on some parts, like whether you are a tad pissed at me, a lot pissed at me, not pissed at me at all, but I will try and a just get to the question part, and give you the benefit of the doubt.
Plus, the reality is, if you took away from my posts that I implied a submissive could be automatically worthless in any situation, I didn’t mean that.
I don’t feel like anybody is worthless, so like Forest Gump says, “That’s all I have to say about that.”
So, I think you are saying – you are a solid woman who is submissive, and your dude is a lazy shitbag. Being a dominant doesn’t make you not get off your ass, but men who take it seriously know that there is a lot of emotional support so I suspect he is not really much more than a rough sex dude or some sadist, and doesn’t put time into you as a person.
“As a submissive at core having to be the dominant for so long with no help and no idea how to even assert dominance how can you be so quick to judge?“ – Once again, what the fuck do you mean? How am I judging you? Being an alpha female in life who takes care of shit doesn’t mean you cannot be submissive in bed and your relationship. That is completely counter to what I have always praised in women – kick ass ladies who emotionally and physically allow themselves to become vulnerable and rejoice in the freedom in submission of their mind and body.
“A true sub without a competent Dom is a ship lost at sea.. and when that sub has had pseudo doms it’s worse.. So, how do you suggest getting ones shit together?” – You are totally right. You are unfortunately either with a bum, or have had a series of bums, but once again, this is not a Dom thing to put gas in a lawn mower and walk around the yard for 15 minutes. If he is a do-er, you will sense it. I am sitting up writing business documents at midnight on a weekday because I am not a loser and have drive and motivation. I have 8 possible new business opportunities and I am going to fucking win one, come hell or high water. I have drive. You can spot this characteristic in men in the first 5 minutes you meet them, so it is not a Dom thing. You choose to allow a guy in your world who is a bum and lazy, then expect or hope for him to be something else. If he is not attentive to your feelings too, that is because he is selfish and you deserve better. You deserve to be heard, taken care of, treated like a lady, and protected, assuming you are walking the walk. How do you get this kind of man? First, jettison the garbage and find a new guy but vet him early on. Second, be the example you want. I can tell you one thing; I would only be with a woman who inspired me because she was either my equal or better. Lazy is not an option in my real world and I’d never accept mediocrity in a counterpart.